You need a lesson, Katie Rich. Not just on how to be a normal human being, but also on how to be a writer. You are horrible at it. It is amazing anyone would ever hire you, outside of writing high school yearbook blurbs. Is SNL getting this desperate?
But let’s not dwell on how utterly unfunny you are (you’re supposed to be a comedian, right?), and let’s focus on how to get a few more cells in that potato brain of yours to fire up, so you won’t be tempted to do something this stupid again in the near future:
I get it. You were trying to work the “alone in homeschool” and the “First Son of the United States” parts together. I bet it sounded really funny in your head, didn’t it? Echo chambers tend to do that. But did you know that Barron isn’t actually homeschooled?
What exactly prompted you to think going after a 10-year old would be a good idea, Katie? How out of ideas must’ve you been to resort to that? I thought, with a prominent beak and a rotund figure like yours, you would’ve gotten some of that baby-delivering, pelican instinct. Guess you failed.
I wonder, though, did your mom have a drinking problem while she was pregnant with you? After looking up some of the stuff you have “achieved”, I can’t really blame her, if she did. At least she seemed to have enough foresight than to verbally attack a 10-year old child. Just not enough to induce a miscarriage.
Speaking of your parents, how do they feel about you now, with this whole debacle exploding right in front of their faces? Do they wish you went into military service, instead, so they can have the hope of trading you in for a folded American flag? It’s a pretty sweet, double stitched flag, Mr. and Mrs. Rich.
Anyway, back to that tweet.
Was that the love fruit of one of your mental meltdowns? Did the reality of President Trump dislodge you like your first year of college? Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard to create Microsoft and revolutionized humankind. You, on the other hand, dropped out of Northwestern to do what? Ripping on a 10-year old?
PeaceLove Studios certainly pegged the right person to showcase mental illness.
I must admit, I’m not that knowledgable with mental illnesses. Is having a stroke considered a mental illness? Were you having a stroke in your Twitter profile picture, Katie?
The right side of your face seems to have caved in by quite a bit. Or is that just your goat eyes creating the illusion? You might not be funny, but you sure are funny looking.
So, what are your next plans, Katie, now that you’re (in)famous? I suggest you actually do something with that marriage of yours (if it’s not already broken) and get a child of your own. Maybe then, you will understand just how horrible what you did was.
But whatever you decide, don’t go play with a python again, because even something with that small of a brain and that cold of blood probably knows better than to go after a 10-year old child. It might snap that aftermarket exhaust of a nose of yours right off.
Katie, now that you have been on the receiving end of this barrage of personal attacks and experienced first hand how it feels, I hope you have learned to think twice before personally attacking anyone again, especially a child.